Finding the Moment
by This Is My Escape
Summary: Thinking about living an eternity without Damon is too painful to bear thinking about. The only way she can survive is to have Ric compel her to forget ever having loved him. "I need to let him go." Ric thinks about her answer, but will he do what she wants?


**AN: Season 6 premiere was something else, wasn't it? ~Kate**

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><p>He's postponed a meeting with a student and set aside the rest of his schedule to do this.<p>

Part of his mind is shouting for him to stop while another part of him, a part that has been taking a stronger hold since he crossed back into the land of the living, is yelling louder – yelling for him to protect this girl, save her from insanity by compelling her to forget how she ever felt about his best friend, to do as she requested.

He's been thinking it over, exactly how he'd carry out her wishes. He'll need her to find the exact moment Elena fell in love with Damon, and to do that she's going to have to relive every moment they'd ever shared together.

A knock on the door lets him know that she's arrived. He knew she would, he didn't give her an answer when she mentioned it the night before, probably giving him a minute to let her request sink in. When he sees her though, fresh-faced with chocolate eyes that are full of hope for the first time in months since Damon died, he knows he _will_ do this for her. Whatever amount of doubt he had before when he sees that look in her eyes disappears.

He watches as her lips press together, her lips creasing as she makes an attempt to smile. It still looks forced. She's holding onto that thin thread of hope like a lifeline in a sea of her despair.

"Hi." She steps through when he opens the door wider for her and she pushes a lock of hair behind her ear. "Did you think it over?"

"I think we both need a drink."

He pours them two glasses from a stash of blood bags in his fridge – he's still getting used to that – and hands her one.

She gulps it down headily and for a moment he feels a twinge of panic, wondering if she's sober from the witchy drugs that had sent her into a suspended state of denial and clouded judgment or if she couldn't resist doing another hit (he makes a mental note to compel Luke to "lose" all ways of getting hold of those damn herbs).

When he sets his own glass down – Damon was right, it's all about moderation – he sees Elena staring back at him, this time with a spark of amusement in her eyes. "What?"

"I'm fine. I'm…actually excited."

His brow twitches. "About?"

"I don't know," she shrugs, "finding peace. If I can't remember how I feel about Damon then maybe it won't hurt as much to remember him."

He nods in understanding, and part of him wishes he could compel himself but he'll gladly settle for helping out his charge. "I can compel you to completely forget him."

"No." She bites her lip. "A lot of moments between me and Damon need to still exist, I need to have them."

"Whatever you want, Elena." And he means it. He gestures for her to sit near the window. "You sure you want to do this?" he says as he takes a seat in front of her.

"I _need_ to," she answers quickly and he watches her jaw tremble as she continues with, "For my own survival, I need to let him go."

He's nodding in response, and telling her to take a deep breath.

And then he begins.

"Who is Damon Salvatore?"

"He was my boyfriend. He died." Her voice strains at the last word.

"When did you meet him?"

"May of 2009."

He frowns in confusion. "That was before your accident, though. You didn't meet Stefan until a few months later."

"Yeah, he um…he wasn't the brother I met first." Something lights up in her eyes briefly, as if she's remembering a special private moment and he doesn't press on it. He isn't sure he wants to know anyway, he only needs to know the length of time.

"Tell me when you started to fall for him."

He puts aside all parental/guardian-esque instincts on not wanting to hear about her love life, and focuses instead on trying to help her lock down that moment. Minutes pass and he watches her eyelids clench shut while her eyes dart back and forth behind that skin and it's like she's literally trying to search.

More minutes pass, and she slumps, just a little, in her chair. "I don't know when."

"This won't work until we find that signature moment, the moment you knew you loved him."

"I don't _know,_ Ric!" she cries and then it pours out of her, "It just happened. He came out of the blue – annoying and cocky as hell, but he was always there for me. When I thought I was alone, I wasn't because he was there picking up the pieces so fast I barely had time to know anything inside of me had broken."

He inhales deeply, hating how much hurt and loss this girl has seen in her life. "You need to try, Elena. Think."

"It hurts."

"Try anyway," he says softly. "The sooner you do, the sooner you can forget about the pain."

She sniffs, wiping away tears that haven't quite fallen yet and straightens, refocusing her energy on locking down when she realized she first fell in love with Damon. Time stretches on, but he doesn't care, they're both vampires who have the luxury to take however long is needed to complete this task.

"The first time I realized I cared for him was such a long time ago. I knew he'd snuck into my life, and I found that I was okay with it. And then I thought he was going to die with Tyler's werewolf bite and it hurt me to think about losing him then…" she shakes her head, growing more and more frustrated with each moment she reveals.

"He kissed me one night, the one where Damon compelled Jeremy to want to live a better life."

His brows jump at that news. He remembers that night. He hated the idea of compulsion as much as Elena did, but it was necessary to protect her younger brother. And then he'd been too busy with his own issues that he didn't bother to stick around once the compulsion was complete.

"He felt guilty about wanting me when I was with Stefan, because I was in _his_ words, his _brother's girl._ And I think I was in denial…even back then, about how I felt. I knew things were changing, slowly, and he started meaning more to me."

She tells him of more and more memories, shared moments between her and Damon until her eyes snap open, and he knows she's figured it out. The instant she realized how she truly felt about Damon.

"It was before Rebekah drove me and Matt off Wickery Bridge, literally right before." She smiles a pained smile and it hurts him to see it. "Matt told me we could turn around and go back to Stefan, or keep driving to Damon and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Because I felt obligated to Stefan, I decided to go back to Stefan. I chose the safe route by doing that, when we thought everyone in our bloodline was going to die.

"I let him go because I cared for him, but I was too selfish to tell him what he needed to hear – what we both needed to hear – that I loved him." A hot tear streams down her cheek as her voice breaks. "That was when I knew, and I broke two hearts that night."

_There it is_, he thinks_._

She's wringing her hands together, so hard that her knuckles turn white and he rests one of his on top of them. To still them. To still her.

"Elena, I need you to look at me," he tells her and she does.

She meets his gaze as more tears fall, her lip trembles as she whispers a choked, "Thank you, for doing this."

He gives a firm nod, keeping his hand on both of hers, and compels her.

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><p><strong>AN: Told you I'd be around. After watching the premiere, I needed to get this off my chest. Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are love. ~Kate<strong>

**P.S. A few parallels during the 6x01 episode that I noticed. Damon and Elena both attacked campers in season 1 and season 6. Jeremy/Elena both turned to drugs to cope like in season 1 and now in season 6. Looking forward to seeing what else the writers plan on referring back to.**

**who else thinks Damon and Bonnie are back in the land of the living? I have a theory that I'm sticking to until proven otherwise where they don't remember who they are. Damon still has his ring, so I'm wondering if he's still a vampire, or if it's just a family heirloom that his alter-self wears. Curious to hear your own theories if you have them!**


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